Advice

Feeling Lonely

February 26, 2025

Last year, the BBC worked with Wellcome Collection to conduct the world’s largest loneliness study, and a massive 40% of the 16-24 year olds that took part reported feeling lonely often or very often. It was the age group that experienced the highest levels of loneliness, and there are many reasons for feeling lonely as a young person – such as transitions from school to college or university, moving away from your home and friends, feeling like you don’t fit in or that you’re different from your peers. If you have a loved one with a serious illness, that can also have a huge impact on how you feel, including feelings of loneliness.

You’re not alone

We’ve supported children and young people when a loved one has a serious illness for over a decade, and loneliness is a really common topic of conversation; you might feel that none of your friends have been through a similar situation, and they don’t understand what it’s like; it can be isolating when you are not being informed fully about your loved one’s diagnosis or situation, whether it’s because of your relationship with them or because other close people think that you are “too young to understand”; you might not want to go out and socialise with friends or carry on with your hobbies, as you’d rather be at home with your family member.

Changes

You might also feel lonelier when your loved one is seriously ill because they don’t do the things they used to do, which can be really difficult to process. Perhaps you and your mum loved going to football games, or your brother used to hang out with you after school, but now they are too ill to do that. It could be that your loved one died of a serious illness and now you feel an incredible emptiness that nobody else can replace. These feelings are normal and understandable, but can be very difficult.

Serious illness doesn’t only affect the patient, but also people who are close to them. The worries and anxiety that can come with a serious illness of a close person can make you feel isolated, and supporting someone who is seriously ill can be really hard for other people who have never experienced it to understand. You might feel like your friends, teachers, or employer just don’t get what you are going through, and how to support you through it.

It is important to remember that you are not alone, and despite feeling lonely and perhaps misunderstood, there are people who want to be there for you.

What can you do?

Talk

Although it might be very difficult at times to talk about how you feel, it can be good to be open with your friends and family. Having some honest conversations can help you understand each other more and work on ways to support you during this hard time.

Sometimes people who you are close with might not know what to say and maybe you don’t know what to say either, but that’s okay – you can tell them that too, or guide them as to how you want to be supported; do you want them to ask about what’s going on at home? Or would you rather just hang out and chat about your new favourite Netflix binge-watch?

Reach out

If you feel like you would like to talk to someone who has been through a similar situation, you might want to try our peer support groups. They are designed for young people who have a seriously ill loved one to chat with others going through a similar thing, and might help you feel less alone as you might find that you can relate to some people’s experiences. We have a secure Facebook group in which you can post as yourself or anonymously, and we also have video chat peer-support groups. Don’t forget, if you’re under 26 years old, you can also book a one-to-one session with our experienced wellbeing advisors.

Don’t isolate yourself

Sometimes you might not want to see or speak to anyone, and it’s ok to spend some time on your own, but long-term isolation might cause you to feel worse. Listen to your mind and body and take your time to work through your feelings, but also remember you are not alone – so carry on doing those hobbies, share your story and needs with those important to you, and express your emotions to your loved ones.