Advice
Making Memories
August 22, 2025
When someone you love suffers from a terminal illness, it can be incredibly difficult. Receiving that diagnosis might be one of the hardest experiences you’ve ever had to go through – you might not know what to do now, and that’s okay. Once you’ve given yourself some time to process and talk about it, it might be a good idea to think about ways of making memories and celebrating moments with your loved one. Here are some ideas on what you could do together:
Look at photos
Looking at photos you have together or photos of your loved one when they were younger can be a great thing to do. You can talk about the great moments you shared together, be reminded of funny stories or events, and your loved one might want to tell you stories about their past that you haven’t heard before.
Share a meal
Ordering your loved one’s favourite takeaway, cooking something for them or buying their favourite snack and eating together can be a nice way of spending time together. They might not be able to eat as much as they used to but might still enjoy their comfort meal or a favourite snack, although do check with their medical team first if they can eat these foods – you might also want to try something neither of you have tasted before, and give it a rating out of 10!
Watch their favourite film or show
Making memories doesn’t have to be just about the big things; sitting together to watch your loved one’s favourite show or film, or listening to their favourite music together, can bring back memories and provide a sense of comfort and familiarity. It can also spark a conversation and provide a moment where you can share a laugh.
Do gentle activities
If your loved one is able to do some gentle activities, doing them together might be a great idea. Doing something they enjoy, whether it is puzzles or spending time in nature, could be soothing and bring a sense of connection and calmness – you might also find some new hobbies that you can carry on doing after they’ve died, to help you feel close to them.
Discuss what matters most
If your loved one is able to talk, you could speak about what matters the most to them; maybe you could chat about things they learned in their lives and ask for advice, or they could tell you about the things they are most proud of or what they want to be remembered for. You can also write down or record messages for other family members and friends.
Start a project
You and your loved one could think of something you could start together and that you can continue after they die. It could be anything from a crocheting project to a list of places your loved one would like you to visit – or perhaps there is a cause they would like to support, and you could do it for them.
Make a memory jar or box
A memory jar or box can hold things that are special for your loved one, or things that remind you of them. It can include things such as photos, favourite objects, recorded messages or written notes, and you can then keep it and revisit it whenever you miss them. The box can be as simple or as elaborate as you like and you can put anything special or meaningful in it. Why not try decorating it together, or use their favourite colours to make it unique to them?
Create digital memories
There’s so much we can do with technology, and recording videos and voice messages can be a great idea – if you’ve already got them, why not create an album or make an online photo book? Having these can bring you some comfort, and allow you to hear their voice and see their face again after they die.
Plan celebration cards
If your loved one can and wants to, they could write cards for people they love for their upcoming birthdays and celebrations. This can be a heartfelt gesture that can bring some comfort to others who will miss your loved one, and you can turn it into an activity you do together by taking them to the shop and helping them pick cards for each person.
Be present
Being present and spending time with the person who is ill can be great for both of you; giving them your full attention (yes, that means no scrolling at the same time!) and just sitting together can mean a lot to them – see where the conversation goes, hold their hand, and just be there together.
Say what needs to be said
Think about things you would like to tell your loved one before they die; perhaps you’d like to tell them about your future plans or share something important to you. Maybe you would like to tell them how much you love them, and that they will be missed. Talking about these things might be difficult, but when you look back in years to come you’ll most likely be glad you said everything you needed to say.
