Advice
My Parent Has Been Diagnosed With Cancer… Now What?
October 17, 2024
Hearing that someone you love has a cancer diagnosis can be very hard and scary – for them, for you and for their other friends and family. You might feel a variety of emotions such as anger, sadness and confusion, and you might also find it hard to believe that the diagnosis is real. Below you can find some information on what can happen next and how to deal with this difficult news…
Understanding Cancer
There are different types of cancer that can affect different parts of the body, and cancer can be described in grades and stages which tells us how much it’s spread and how much it might grow. Some cancers cause tumours whilst others might not, and sometimes if the cancer has already spread (known as secondary cancer, or metastatic cancer), doctors don’t always know where the first tumour (known as the primary tumour) is.
You can find out more about your parent’s cancer from them if they are willing to talk about it, but also from trusted organisations/websites, or their hospital or clinic. Everyone’s cancer is different, and it’s important not to compare your parent’s cancer to someone else you know or saw on the internet and television – it’s also important to be careful when researching cancer online as some untrustworthy websites might have incorrect information, so stick to some of these trusted websites:
Treatment Options
Depending on the type and stage of cancer, your loved one might be offered different treatments; sometimes it’s possible to remove the tumour, and your parent may be offered different treatments such as chemotherapy, immunotherapy or radiation therapy to kill off the cancer cells. Sometimes people can have a mixture of different treatments and surgeries, whilst other times one or two will be a better option than the others.
If the cancer is advanced when it’s found, some treatments might not be as effective – sometimes cancer can also be incurable, and often when that happens treatment is focussed on trying to reduce it spreading and helping the patient with their symptoms (this can include things like pain relief).
Talk to Them
Many people who are diagnosed with cancer appreciate support from others, but it’s okay to not know what to say – in fact, you can even say “I don’t know what to say but I am here for you”. You might have questions, and they might or might not know the answers at this point (they probably have lots of questions too!), but keeping an open dialogue can really help as you go through this together.
When it comes to things like treatment plans, your parent might tell you what treatments they will be undertaking once they know, or they might not share all of the information straight away – this might be because they are trying to come to terms with it themselves, or it might be because they want to protect you. Have a conversation with them to let them know how much or how little you want to be told, so everyone is on the same wavelength.
Getting Help
This is a very difficult time for you and your friends/family, so it’s really important that you take care of yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, it might be worth speaking to someone – it’s great if you have your own support networks already (friends, other family, teachers etc), but you can also reach out and chat to us here at Hope: Get Support
